Heavens Children

When a child dies a parent grieves for the rest of their life for the child that they had lost. You have to learn how to live again in order to get through it, for we are not the same person as we were before you will never forget the memories you have of your child.

When a baby dies a parent looses all the hopes and dreams they had for that child. Losing a child at any age is a devistating blow to a parent It's one of the worst losses to go through.

First day to 1st year of a loss you feel like you are in a nightmare you cant wake up from. Everything seems to be passing you by like you are in side a movie looking out watching everything go on around you but cant and dont feel like interacting with others. You might even push others away from you cause you just want to be alone with your thoughts and grief.or friends and family might be there at the begining then afterwards might not be there at all cause they dont know what to say or what to do for you. There is nothing anyone can say in words to help a brieved parent. Just let that parent or parents know you are there for them if they do need to talk and you will be there to listen.

When a parent looses their only child it feels like there is nothing to live for everything you dreamed of graduation, birthdays, Weddings, and grandchildren are completely gone. there are no dreams left.

You will hear alot of things from people who dont understand the walk you are walking right now. They might say things like:
Things happen for a reason or it was his or her time or God need another angel They do mean will but at the moment words like these cut our broken heart even deeper but if they have never lost a child they dont understand and would we really want them to walk in our shoes to know? No we dont.

The second year is when reality of your loss will finally sink in. Let your self grieve, cry when you need or feel like it. Crying is good it helps to clense your soul it helps healing. Crying as I call it in grief is tears of love. Everyone grieves differently and there is no set time on grief and no one should tell you its time to move on or its time to get over it. You will get through it the best way you can for only you know how you feel.

When a parent goes through infertility and a loss they feel broken, lost, unsure of why or what they are here for. It brings on more grief of the children they can not have and the ones they have lost.

Grief is the combination of sorrow, strong emotion, and the resulting confusion that comes from losing someone important to you. Not only do you mourn the loss of that person, but you mourn for yourself.

WHAT DOES GRIEF FEEL LIKE?

Grief can feel like many things. Just after a death has occurred, it is very common for you to feel numb and as if you were in shock. This is how your body instinctively reacts to pain. You may experience some of the following physical sensations: Tightness in the chest or throat, difficulty breathing, irritability to noise, the feeling that nothing is real, muscle weakness, lack of energy,dry mouth, or trouble sleeping and eating. This is a good time to check with your own physician, especially if any of these conditions seem overwhelming or persist. You may also find yourself searching for your loved one. The forms of searching may range from dreams that seem as real as life, all the way to hallucinations caused by familiar sounds,smells, and sights. These may come when you least expect them, causing you to be caught off-guard and unprepared. This searching is normal, and is an important part of adjusting to your loss.

WHAT IS BEREAVEMENT?

Bereavement is the process of grieving. This process is different for each person, although every person will experience similar states. The time that it takes to progress through bereavement is also unique to each person. It is common for intensive bereavement to last anywhere from six months to two years. Your life will never be the same, but you will find a new inner strength identity just give yourself time.

THE STRONG EMOTIONS

Part of the healing process involves a period of intense emotions. You must allow yourself to experience these emotions.

ANGER

Anger is a common emotion following a death. You may find yourself angry at a situation, at a person in particular, or just angry in general. You will often find that you take out this anger out on those closest around you. You cannot choose to be angry, but you can choose how to express it. Try holding an imaginary conversation with the person you are angry with, or write them a letter that only you need to see. What is making you angry with this person? Talk or write out all of your feeling about that person or situation. Understanding your anger is the fist step toward dealing with it. Hit a pillow, kick a bed, or scream if it makes you feel better! The experts claim that exercise is an excellent stress reliever.

GUILT

Whether rational or not, appropriate or not, almost everyone experiences guilt. Guilt can be triggered by almost anything, but usually comes under the heading of “I could have, I should have, I wish I would have...” Acknowledge guilt, by looking at each situation, write it down if you need to. If you feel your guilt is warranted, write an apology even if you are the only one to read it.

DEPRESSION

Sometimes feelings of numbness and shock go on longer than the first few weeks. Although it is common to experience some of these earlier symptoms for time to time, it is not a good sign to have these symptoms constantly. Be sure to have at least one person that you can discuss your feelings with. Even better, join a bereavement group. Talk to your doctor about how you feel, and perhaps seek a counselor for further treatment. Call a crisis hotline if you ever feel that you may consider suicide.

WHEN WILL I FEEL LIKE I HAVE HEALED?

Although it does not seem possible now, there will come a time in the future when you can thinkabout your loved one with fond memories, and without any feelings of guilt, anger, or sadness.You will find that you have established new goals for yourself and a new pattern of life. This will come, you must just allow yourself time and give yourself permission to experience bereavement in its entirety.

Physical and Emotional Signs of Grief

Physical Signs:

*Headaches *exhaustion *dizziness *appetite loss *heart palpatations *numbness *nausea *insomnia

Emotional Sings:

*Crying *Sadness *Anxious *Anger *hopelessness *Shock *Anguish *Shame *Disbelief
*Confusion *Guilt *Depression *Restless *Hopeless *Denial *Peace *Frustrated *Abandoned *Irritable *loneliness

*Unable to concentrate *restless *disorganised *Blameful *Forgetful *depression *numbness *isolation

Grieving is something that everyone does differently , there is no right or wrong way to grieve.